Monthly Archives

March 2018

ONE LIFE’s mantra and why we love it…

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We speak of our future as having goals and dreams, but when that future becomes our today, how many goals and dreams are realised?

“One day…” we tell ourselves, while one day turns into many days, weeks, months, years, without that dream or goal realised.

The today we are present in is different.

Today we have a choice. We can make a change. If it’s important we will find a way, if not we will find an excuse. WE decide.

Today, stand firm and take a step forward. Mark the calendar with DAY ONE because the truth of the matter is, ONE DAY may never come…

Could Your Stress be Hurting the Ones You Love?

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When conflicts arise in a relationship, it’s easy to blame our partner. But the real culprit might be stress.

According to the American Institute of Stress, more than a quarter of people surveyed in 2014 felt alienated from a friend or family member because of stress, and over half had fought with people close to them. Relationships are worse off when people are under stress. The more stressed a person is, the less satisfied they are with their close relationships.

And if both partners are stressed—as is so often the case when modern couples juggle work schedules and parenthood—this is even more likely to happen. In a 2015 study, stressed partners received less support when their partner was also stressed. This study showed that, compared to when they were calm, stressed men and women provided less support to each other: fewer hugs, kind words, and empathic responses.

So what can be done?

We might decide to keep stress to ourselves, shielding our partner from our problems and grumpiness. We try to stay positive and “leave work at work,” to avoid bringing negativity home. But that is a mistake. It’s extremely difficult to keep our emotions under wraps like this, and can be detrimental to our wellbeing. It also means we’re missing the chance to make our partner feel better by letting them help. In a study by UoC, women either squeezed a stress ball or held their partner’s arm as he received an electric shock. The ones who faced their loved one’s stress head-on, offering comfort instead of focusing on themselves, experienced less neural activity in the stress centre of the brain and more activity in the brain’s caregiving and reward systems—and they felt more connected.

The answer may be as simple as asking for help when we need it. Studies have shown that stressed wives got more support from their spouses not just because husbands offered it more but also because wives asked for it more.

So don’t be afraid to send up the distress signal. And, if you’re on the receiving end, heed it. Coping with stress together helps our close relationships survive and thrive.

 

Links
https://www.stress.org/daily-life/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262197133_Stress_From_Daily_Hassles_in_Couples_Its_Effects_on_Intradyadic_Stress_Relationship_Satisfaction_and_Physical_and_Psychological_Well-Being

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/dont_let_stress_hurt_your_relationship

What Hypnotherapy is….and what it isn’t.

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There are a lot of misconceptions about hypnotherapy out there, and this can mean that some people may be wary of considering it as an option to improve their life. The image of hypnosis is often that of people up on stage, eating onions or barking like a dog. All good fun, but as far removed from hypnotherapy as you can imagine. Everyone on that stage has volunteered, and have decided for themselves to participate fully in the show. Hypnotherapy, on the other hand, is a process of self-improvement, not entertainment.

However, there can be a fear that somehow the hypnotherapist will be able to control your mind… but we can’t, nor would we want to do so. What we do instead is provide plenty of positive suggestions while the client is in trance, enabling therapeutic change to happen via the subconscious mind. And there’s nothing scary about trance. We all go into trance at least twice every day; just before falling asleep at night, and upon waking up every morning. Most people easily enter a form of trance when being totally absorbed in a good TV show, getting lost in a good book or while driving. It’s that feeling you get when you focus on one thing, and the rest of the world fades away.

There is often a belief that hypnotherapy is “mumbo jumbo”, but there is a wealth of scientific research behind its effectiveness. Psychologists such as Freud and Jung used it, and more recently Dr. Milton Erikson and others have moved the field forward. A recent study at Stanford University identified the neural changes associated with hypnosis, and hypnosis has been used medically to perform operations without general anaesthetic. The Pain Clinic at Liege University Hospital in Belgium has performed over 9000 operations in this way, demonstrating how powerful a tool it can be.

We often hear people say something like “Well, you wouldn’t be able to hypnotize me!” Again, this is based on the misconception that hypnosis is something the therapist imposes on the client. Hypnotherapy is not a battle for control. If you’re capable of breathing a little slower, and relaxing a little bit while lying down, then the therapy works. You don’t have to “go under”. And we’re all susceptible to suggestion – that’s why the advertising industry exists! It is important here to emphasise that any suggestion that the client does not feel is in their best interests will be rejected.

Here at ONE LIFE, we have seen clients make amazing progress in dealing with their issues and creating a more positive life for themselves with hypnotherapy. You can read about some of our success stories in the testimonials on this website.

And we never use pocket watches!

Links:

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2016/07/study-identifies-brain-areas-altered-during-hypnotic-trances.html

 http://www.esh2017.org/news/25-jul-2017-over-9000-patients-have-surgery-with-hypnosis